


Holes, Rocks, and Broken Things

by AfterBurn



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: Additional Warnings Apply, Alternate Universe, Drug Abuse, F/F, Mental Health Issues, Mentions of Rape, Self-Medicating, heavy trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-04
Updated: 2016-01-05
Packaged: 2018-05-11 14:41:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5630137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AfterBurn/pseuds/AfterBurn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Korra struggles to maintain her sanity as she attempts to cope with a rapidly developing mental illness, abuse, and betrayal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

_You're worthless. Weak. Pathetic. Why is it that you don't know your place already?_

_Shut up, shut up, shut up._

Korra opened her eyes and took a shuttering breath. She stood quickly from the bench and gathered her things. She needed to go somewhere that wasn't here. She thought she could do this, be around people. She shoved all of her papers into her bag and slung it over her shoulder. She accidentally made eye contact with a woman jogging toward her. A slew of disturbing images racked her mind. She quickly looked away and tried to shake her head clear as she picked up the pace. _Fuck, it's okay. Just calm down Korra._

Korra crammed her ear buds into her ears and hit shuffle on her iPod. She was pretty sure these things were obsolete these days, but continued to use the beat up 4th generation nano because it was familiar. Music blared though the tiny speakers, drowning out everything but the soothing voice of the singer. 

She made it back to the house she shared with three other room mates, all guys. But they knew she was gay. Didn't stop two of them from hitting on her, but it was fine for now. Working two jobs and training five to six times a week kept her away from home most days. Her room in the attic was a nice respite from life most days. And today was an off day for her. 

The door unlocked for her and she slunk through and crept into the house. The door creaked and clicked shut behind her. She breathed out a sigh and made for the stairs. She paused when she heard two voices at the top. Pausing at the bottom step, she strained to listen to the words after she heard her name. 

“I'm telling you, I got her wrapped around my finger, cousin. I'll tell her anything and she believes it. That shit worked like a charm!” A laugh and a deeper chuckle followed.

 _What the hell?_ Korra's mind raced. _What the hell?_ Her heart rate doubled. _He lied? What the hell is going on? This isn't real. This isn't real. They wouldn't do that to me... Would they? No. No. No._

Korra had to get to the attic. She needed to be in her space. What the hell was happening? She rushed up the stairs as silently as she could.

“Oh, hey Korra. Just get home?”

Korra cast him a glare and rushed to the attic. 

A laugh followed her up the stairs.

Finally. Korra collapsed onto her futon quickly searching for the remote to her bulky television set and turned the volume up.

A knock. Her room mate's head poked through the door. “Hey Korra. What's up? You want to talk about something?”

“Get out,” she growled as she got up and slammed the door in his face. 

She couldn't believe he fucking used her. Could she trust anyone? Her family? Her supposed best friend was even iffy these days. She had no idea who was telling the truth and who wasn't and what was real and why her and how did this happen and why was she so weak and-

 _Wait,_ Korra thought. She still had a bag or two left. Her greatest escape. Her release. She dug through her bag and pulled out her pouch. The syringe and q-tip and bottle cap. And of course, her cure all. She ripped open two of the small yellow wax paper bags and tapped them into the bottle cap. A squirt of water from the needle, a quick mix. She used the string from her hoodie to tie off and the vein popped. A prick, a plunge, and she could feel her mind closing. The rush was just an added bonus. 

She lay back on the futon and closed her eyes. Finally.


	2. An Unfortunate Situation

“What do you mean you're leaving?” Korra asked, shocked into raising her voice a bit louder than she'd meant.

“I'm sorry, Korra,” Ty answered quietly. “I just can't do this anymore. It's too stressful.”

Korra stared at her a moment, then sat back on her haunches. “Ty, please, I'm begging you. You can't leave me here with them.” Tears pricked her eyes. “I'm here for you.”

“I know Korra, but I have to do this; I have to get better.” Ty looked down towards her hands where they were placed in her lap.

“But... I love you.” Korra tried to catch her eyes as best she could. Only succeeding when Ty had gathered the strength to meet them.

“I know.”

Korra sat back onto the floor behind her. “When do you leave?”

“Tomorrow.”

Korra closed her eyes, letting the tears escape as they'd been wanting to since the start of the conversation. “Okay,” she rasped.

“Come here, Korra.” Ty opened her arms to her lover and they were filled shortly after. They lay back on the bed in the cramped room that was Korra's space for the past few months. They made love for the last time before Ty left early the next morning to catch her flight to the Fire Kingdom.

X

“One more good one! You got this Korra! Push it, push it!”

“Agh!” Korra jerked the barbell above her head for her seventh and final rep, controlling the decent down as best she could but dropping it on the floor noisily. “Fuck.”

“Great! That was fucking great, Korra. No, no, don't sit down.”

“Zaheer... I'm going to puke.”

“Okay, Korra. Just breathe, you're fine.”

Korra paced back and forth between the heavy bag and the kettle bells leaning against the wall. “No, really, I'm going to puke.” She halted abruptly and wretched. It came spewing out in one good heave and Korra stepped back, leaning her hands on her knees. “Fuck, I'm sorry.”

Grinning, Zaheer laughed. “No, Korra. You've done really well. Congratulations on your first vomit. It means you worked hard.”

“Really?” Korra couldn't help the smile forming.

“Yes!” Zaheer clapped her on the back. “Now lets get some protein in you. But first, we have to clean this up before Meat Head sees it.”

Korra nodded smiling proudly.

Korra eased into the car, after a quick rinse in the gym's shower. She lit a cigarette as Zaheer pulled out of the parking lot. She ignored his disapproving glance; he said nothing, nor did she. They made it back to the loft they shared his girlfriend P'Li and Korra collapsed onto the suede couch next to her. P'Li had a bowl packed and ready; Korra took it gratefully as Zaheer came around the corner with a large protein shake in one hand, vitamins in the other.

She checked her phone as she chugged the thick mixture, finding a new message from Ty. She opened it. They'd been talking the past few months after she'd left. Vowing to get together after Ty de-stressed in the country on her parent's estate. Ty's physical health had taken a steep dive after her and Korra had developed feelings for each other. Hiding just how much from P'Li and Zaheer had stressed her to the point that she had begun vomiting and could hardly got out of the house. 

When Korra met Ty, she was Zaheer and P'Li's girlfriend. An open relationship. Polygamists? Korra wasn't exactly sure. But it didn't take long before Korra had somehow landed in a confused love triangle between P'Li, Ty, and herself. Zaheer didn't really care, as long as he got laid. The unspoken rules of the relationship was that if you were with one, you were with all. That way it was 'fair', if that was even the right word. Korra didn't really think about it, she just accepted it.

But, she didn't want this anymore. Ty was the only reason she'd entered into this odd situation. Well, that and Zaheer had agreed to train her. Also, she hadn't a stable place to live. All of these things were offered to her after a fight with her parents, a failed attempt at moving into a small apartment with one of her friends and after she'd expressed an interest in Ty. But she stayed for Ty. Even after a confusing encounter with Zaheer when she was a little too high. She hadn't really understood what happened that night, she new she didn't want to sleep with him, but she did it anyway. It was her choice, right?

Korra shook these thoughts from her head and read the message. 

_Haven't heard from you in a while. Is everything okay?_

Korra sighed. _I just don't know what to say._

She hit send and tossed the phone somewhere onto the couch beside her. She didn't want to think, she didn't want to deal with this whole situation. Not thinking about it made it tolerable. 

Zaheer sat next to her and rubbed her thigh. “Feeling okay after that workout?”

Korra sat back and fought the urge to brush his hand away. “Yeah, just exhausted.” Lie. She'd be up for a few more hours and they both knew it. 

“Okay, want to put on some Gears Of War? Pick up where we left off?”

 _Thank god._ “Yeah, I'm up for some co-op action.” Korra got up, relieved that she now had an excuse to get Zaheer's hand off of her, and got the controllers.


End file.
